It's that time of the year again...

The photo says it all. Here's to a great 2006. Be careful tonight, kids...

You can make it if you try.

While listening to the above album, Sly & the Family Stone's Stand, the many, multi-talented minions of What We All Want took a vote and decided that it is more than the cat's pajamas. In fact, it's the hamster's penny loafers. Yessir. It's just that great. Go buy it now or relinquish yourself to a lifetime of Nickelback!

PS - Any DJ types who might be reading this should find a way to work something from this album into a forthcoming mix. Just sayin'.

What We All Want <3's The Flaming Lips

Questions? Consult the above photo. OR, this news story:

Flaming Lips plan busy 2006

Chronic-WHAT?!?

Pretty late to the party on this one, but this video is amazing. I avoided it for, well, whatever reason, but I ended up watching it multiple times today because of its sheer hilarity. Check, check-it ya'll:

Chronic(what?)cles of Narnia

Anyone (3kalb, Christopher, I'm looking in your direction...) want to make a rap video over the holidays?

Best of 2005 like whoa!

As if I needed to give you ANY other reasons to cruise over to Prefix, the best of 2005 list is now in the process of being posted. What does that mean? Well, you can view #'s 11-50 so far, and tomorrow, 1-10 will be posted. Mixed in amongst my rock writer cohorts' work you'll find a few of my blurbs. Enjoy:

The-Best-Albums-of-2005

The Chapelle Theory

We all remember Dave Chapelle's trouble of several months back. Well, here's an interesting point of view on it. Conspiracy theory? Yes. Still interesting? You bet:

The Chapelle Theory

Chris Hires is a DJ.

Mixes are the new albums. Or something like that. Regardless, I've been listening to a lot of DJ mixes lately. Stuff by James Friedman, Carl Craig, Annie, etc. Obviously though, you can read about these people elsewhere. One young, musically intensive fella that hasn't been written about yet is my bud, Chris Hires. Dude's made some mixes over the past few months, and to my ears, they're pretty damn good. Download his first:

Chris Hires - Pump Ya Brakes On That

For a track listing and a short description, go here. If you're an indie rock fan, I would suggest you don't see what's on it and just listen first. It's more fun to hear something you recognize slowly slide its way into the mix. If you get stumped, you can always consult the list at that point. Also on that page is a more downtempo mix called Water. The link on that one has expired, but if you like what you see in the track listing, I'm sure it wouldn't be that hard to convince him to repost.

The last time I was in Columbia, I went to a party at a friend's house where Chris DJ'd. I was pretty drunk and it was really hot, but I remember having fun. And I remember Hi-Res (as he should be called, though he refuses to admit it...haha) had to beat the ladies off with a stick. Really, it was quite embarassing. Young women (and some men, let's be honest) kept coming up to him, tearing off their clothes and offering their souls to him in exchange for danceable beats. He always provided the latter, of course. I'd like to post a picture of him working the boards, but since I don't have one, this will have to do:



More recently, ol' Chris posted his latest mix. Composed of much more hip hop than his past work, this is a mix for GrindTime.com. Seriously, the first time I put it on, girls just started appearing in my room, and suddenly the place where I usually sleep was dubbed Club Chew Chew. I don't know how it happened, but some large, bald man starting taking a cover at the door and giving me a cut of the proceeds. Listen with care:

Chris Hires - Tits Not a Party w/o You

Oh, and peep that voicemail at the end. Once this guy hits the big time and people start scroungin the net for old bootlegs of his early material, I'm going to have to change my phone number. That, or start charging people who call me asking for me to scream "Happy Drinksgiving!" Actually, come to think of it, if I use the Drinksgiving money to supplement my already ample Club Chew Chew income, I probably won't have to work another day in my life. Thanks, Chris Hires!

INTENSIFY THE MAHEM

For those who love metal, infants, publicists and more... Witness:
(thanks, The Clark)

Birth Announcement

"Arrested Development" on Showtime?

It's a possibility...

Showtime may rescue 'Arrested Development'

The Decemberists sign to Capitol

This one goes out to all my peeps that don't read Pitchfork, but, for whatever reason, care about indie bands signing with major labels. That said, the headline gives you the gist of the story. If you'd like to hear more, including quotes from Mr. English Degree himself, Colin Meloy, see below:

Exclusive!

Not yet forgotten...

I thought Pop Matters just wasn't going to post my reviews anymore, but this one went up about a week ago. Enjoy:

Ray Lamontagne - Trouble

a fantastic opportunity

While sitting around one day Googling my blog and wishing I was cooler, I came across this gem. Pretty hilarious stuff if you troll around on the site a bit. I tried to get a quote on my soul, but it didn't work. If anyone gets a price, can you post it in the comments? I'm curious. If you're not into selling your soul, well, go Google my blog, all right?

We Want Your Soul

'Cause I hate loose dogs in Heaven.

Above: If you don't own this album, you're a jerk.

The Orlando Connection sent me this the other day and I just got around to checking it out this morning. Some jokers were having a grand ol' time running tape backwards and realized that "Burning Down the House" by Talking Heads seems to take on a whole different meaning (or rather, lack thereof) when reversed. The result is at least moderately amusing for fans of David Byrne and Co. Enjoy:

God I Hate 'Em

Hardcore, huh?

(Above: Two mustachioed men fight for the gold.)

Keeping in the semi-taboo vein of my last post, I wanted to share an email my friend KT sent me recently. If anyone is going to be in the Land of Lincoln around the new year, well, you have your plans:

JINGLE BRAWL HARDCORE MIDGET WRESTLING Featuring the Half-Pint Brawlers. Show for ages 18 and older.
Where: The Warehouse, 2548 S. First St.

When: December 30, 7:30 p.m. (doors open at 6:30 p.m.)

Tickets: $25 (available at House of Brews, 3125 Cockrell Lane; Penny Lane, 2901 S. MacArthur Blvd.; The Rock Shop, 1815 W. Jefferson St.; and Shaner’s Tire, 831 South Grand Ave. E.)

Fake porn alert!

You think you know, but you have no idea. I was cruising Boing Boing just now, looking for something interesting, something to blog about. Lo and behold, there's this. See the image on the right? Looks dirty, doesn't it? It's not, though. Really. Don't believe me? Well, there are loads more at Galumpia Adult. Enjoy.

Time to learn your maths.

Just a moment ago, I accidentally reminded myself of the greatest spoof science show ever, "Look Around You." A BBC program of utter hilarity, the episodes dealt with explaining various parts of day-to-day life, and involved incredible quotes such as:

"What ARE birds? We just don't know."

"Watch as the water turns from invisible to brown."

Now, test your intelligence:
Maths Quiz

And when you're done, browse around the official site for more laughs involving food, health, computers and more. The good scientists and researchers of "Look Around You" are here to help us all. Don't refuse the knowledge of these folks:

Take me down to Amazon.com where the grass is green...

More than a few music publications/journalists/blogs/etc. have made jokes about the new Guns 'n' Roses album, Chinese Democracy. This is because Axl and the boys keep talking about the release like it's something that's actually going to happen. Well, it seems as if Amazon may have caught on and decided to be a little cheeky. Check it out:
(from the Prefix forums)

Pay attention to the release date

Granted, Pitchfork did have the same date listed in their "new releases" section back when they actually had one, but what does this mean? Did Amazon take the 'fork seriously? Or, perhaps that really IS the release date, and the massive online retailer has the jump on us all. Personally, I don't know that I want Axl and whomever is playing with him in 20 years to put out anything at all. We shall see...

UPDATE: It appears Amazon has removed the listing. What a shame. Maybe too many people were noticing and they got embarassed.

Open letters rule.

You know there has to be a good reason for me to have that douche bag's photo at the top of a What We All Want post, and there is. I'll give you two reasons why I was really excited when I saw this link:

1) Title: An Open Letter to Larry the Cable Guy
2) Author: David Cross

Enjoy:
(from the Prefix forums)

Fart!

"We're going to have to get jobs to cover the fact that we rob banks."

In approximately one hour and 20 minutes(1am eastern/12am central), one of my new favorite television shows will be airing its latest episode. "12 Oz. Mouse" is an animated series about our hero, Mouse Fitzgerald, who drinks way too much and does odd jobs to make a living. Throughout each episode there is a basic storyline, but along way, lots of things don't make sense. For instance, in the last episode, Fitz robbed a bank with his buddy Skillet (who is a chinchilla, by the way), sang karaoke for a cop, filmed some porn and got run over by several cars. But it's OK, because he was drunk.

12 Oz. Mouse official site
Stagger - the game
Adult Swim's site

Related Links:
3kalb's post (AKA: The first time I heard about "12 Oz. Mouse")
Mouse on Mars
12 Oz. Prophet
A picture of a crazy rodent
Modest Mouse

Vote or Die.

Well, this year is the first where I will be a part of the Village Voice's annual Pazz & Jop poll. Needless to say, I'm very excited. I got the email the other day, and now, since my top albums of the year are actually going to affect something other than myself, I feel even more obligated to make sure I'm positive that they're slotted correctly. Mostly though, I'm just really pumped to be a part of it. If you haven't heard of it, here's last year's results:

Pazz & Jop 2004

That's right, in a matter of a month or two, you'll be able to go to the Village Voice's site, find my name amongst the ballots and see what I deem the best of 2005. All right. I'm going to stop gushing now. Rock!